This is a hard concept to accept. Scripture makes it clear that if we relentlessly continue to engage in sin, there will come a time when God will give us over to our “debased mind” and let us have it our way. A hard heart ruins, not only your life, but the lives of your family members. A hardened heart dulls a person’s ability to perceive and understand. God will not change your spouse for you. Actually everyone has the ability to reconcile differences with their spouse but selfishness stands in the way.
Divorce Begins with Deception; 4. It is the equivalent of spiritual retardation. Pharaoh had it. Changing yourself is hard, and changing your heart even more so. But our picture-perfect image concealed a widening chasm between two people unable to connect on an intimate level. It is the equivalent of spiritual retardation. It’s always what we cling to when marriage gets hard. She was angry and refused to forgive one more time and did not seek the Lord’s will. And he said, “Go, and say to this people: “‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and blind their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.” Not what your spouse has done or is doing right now. I don't know about you, but as for me, the longer I serve in leadership the more intentional I have to be at keeping my heart open and fully alive. I know it's difficult and yet for some reason you are still together. And the other mistake would be to assume that hardness of heart and the deadness that goes with it really haven’t ruined me morally and that I can be the decisive cause of unhardening my heart. Hope is not completely lost, but the fantasy, of your spouse suddenly becoming the perfect specimen you want, dies. Ask Him to give you the ability, by His grace, to see your spouse through eyes of experiencing the undeserved mercy of God. Charlyne’s heart had become hardened. Mercy doesn’t mean that you become a doormat when it comes to sin. Tough and sensitive topics come to light in these sessions. It means admitting to not having power over your spouse.
He must plead with the Almighty to intervene for the sake of his wife’s soul. Mercy is necessary for your heart to recognize that God is the ultimate judge and that you can trust Him to deal with the sin as well as the sinner. You state that you hardened your heart against God and now you find that your heart is no longer tender towards God as you would like it to be. When asked about divorce, Jesus said, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.

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